Real Life

I admire those bloggers who chose to take a stand against the picture-perfect images they wish to (and perhaps usually do) convey to the world and expose themselves for the real people they are.  Insert "imperfect", "organizationally challenged", "doesn't have it all together", or even "doesn't sew Pinterest-worthy homemade toilette seat covers while their kids sing hymns together while cleaning up the house" for the word "real" in the previous sentence :)

So here is my attempt at letting you in on our After the Airport moments in our home.  (Btw, please read the linked post if you ever have had anyone in your life who has gone through an adoption of sorts- their journey seems harder in many ways than ours, but the author of that posts speaks the truth about what happens after the honeymoon period.)

This is a normal weeks worth of laundry.  Yes, I do laundry weekly (if that!).

1. The above photo was taken on Valentines Day.  On the most romantic day of the year, we put the kids to bed 1/2 hour early (they were tired anyways) and covered up the clothes with a blanket and had a "date" on the other side of the room.  Just don't look to your right at the GIANT pile of unfinished folding- then you can still pretend we are at one of those romantic places people go to eat sometimes...what were they called?  Restau-somethings?
2. Speaking of- having a date is a thing of the past.  We do get creative, but we have not spent a night out together in 9 months!  (before you feel too sorry for me, David's schedule is flexible so we do get to spend sporadic time alone together)
3. Going from zero to three has been... interesting.  I find it ironic that people with three or four kids seem to feel sorry for me.  At first I didn't understand because they would look at me with such empathy, like "Oh, man.  I'm REALLY praying for you!"  But you have the same number (or more) of kids!  What the what?  Now, though, I kind of get it.  They are feeling the same way I feel every day.  Totally worn out sometimes to the point that they try to remember what having no kids felt like and they can't remember the sweet bliss of being DINKs or SINKs so they just feel sorry for those who go straight into their situation without easing into it like they did.  I think they are happy to have someone else join the club, but that club also includes all of us who have such a radically different life than those with no kids.  I guess that is what I'm getting at.  I feel like I hardly ever (or don't) see my single or just couple friends any more.  This is a sad reality of my new family, my new ministry.
4. God has blessed us with an amazing home to raise these blessed babies in, but there are some crazy things that come with it.  Like, the pic below. David trying to go and kill a burrow of yellow jackets and not get attacked!  We had a near attack on our middle one, Mimi, when she was playing right on the hole!  David saw some crawling out and quickly rescued her before he doused them with gasoline.

   

   David suited up to fight the yellow jackets



taming the jungle

5. Or this:  Here is the big pile of brush that gets cut away from the jungle in the back yard every couple of weeks only to stay there for several weeks until we (meaning David) can finally cut them down to pull them to the street for pick-up.  Meanwhile the kids play amidst the branches and every now and then bring in "house plants" into their play house :)

6. Horton Hatches the Egg makes me cry.  Yes, I said it.  It totally gets me in the end.  "And it should be, it should be, it should be like that!  Because he (they) sat, and he sat, and he sat, and he sat...."  I totally identify with Horton.  I feel like the kids are becoming more and more like us every day, coming out with our honky white elephent trunks and ears even though they are half Vietnamese (figuratively, that is :).  But I also feel like this job is a job where we get very little thanks.  I know all moms will say that.  But I confess I struggle that my kids have another mother who loves them and they love her.  I'm so glad they love her, don't get me wrong.  But did the little elephant bird that came out of the egg love both Horton and Mayzie...and sometimes want to live with them both?  

I realize this may somewhat sound like a venting blog.
Not my intention.
But, I just wanted to do my part to encourage anyone else out there who may feel like the interwebs are over loaded with people who have it all together :)

April 18, 2012 : Mims turns 3!

My sweet Mimi!  Love those precious curls.  I hope they never go away :)

I don't know why but I was really sad the night before you turned three.  I just wanted to keep you two for a little bit longer!  But you are really growing up so much and becoming such a "big girl".

Lately, you have been cracking us up!  Here are some of the funny things you are doing:

• You are learning to go in the potty (it's been a really long learning process!), but you are pretty good at doing number 2 so far.  You like to talk about/ and to your poo.  The other day daddy was in the bathroom with you while you were doing your business and you started saying, "her momma here!"...then a few plops later, "her daddy here!".  You have a whole family of poo by the time you are done.  A couple nights ago, apparently there were a whole family of snakes in the potty when you were done (sorry for the TMI :)!
• You also sneak into your sisters bed at night sometimes.  So much so that we decided to per-emptively strike and let you sleep with her for the summer- maybe then you wont escape the bed so much in the middle of the night!  You also have to touch your feet to whomever you are sleeping with.  The other night I came in and you were laying horizontally on the bed and your sister was half hanging off the bed but your little feet were still touching her.
• You like to copy Daddy when he calls mama "Pumpkin".  When you pray you sometimes thank God for your "Pumpkin and your other pumpkin" (I guess your other Pumpkin is Daddy :). 



You weren't too sure about Clifford at our visit to the Children's Museum- here you are keeping your distance.

• You also have started trying to pretend you are asleep but will keep one eye open really wide and the other only half shut.  I guess you think you are fooling us :)

@ Your sister's bday party.  You love staying busy with your own thing.  You actually were busy painting your apron long after everyone else moved on to another game - below

  

You have come so far in the last 7 months:

• When we first met you, you didn't say much.  Then you would speak more after warming up.  But your speech didn't get much better until you had tubes put in January.  You can now say things like "Winnie the Poo" instead of "Lala Pooped"!
• You have been working on your pronouns- even though poor Bubbs is still a "her" whenever you talk about him....or tell on him for taking something you were playing with :)
• You are the only one who has taken an interest in French.  You have learned some words in French (from Daddy) and in Spanish (from school).  In fact, whenever you see a boat you call it a "bateau".
• You are the most independent, but lately you have been letting your mama know how much you love me!  I love hearing those random, "I luwyou mama"s!
• Your favorite word of late is "actually", but you actually pronounce it "asheley".  
• "Mimi, do you want this toy?" 
• "Yes, asheley, yes!"
• You are the sweetest sibling with both your brother and sister.  We say that Bubs is sweeter with you (maybe because you are so close in age and he knows you will be crazy with him sometimes :), and Baby Girl is sweeter with Bubs (although she is getting a ton better at being sweet with you), but you are the sweetest with both of them.  You share and make sure Bubee has things to play with, and you love your big sister so very much.

Here you are at your birthday party opening presents.

We love you with all our heart birthday girl!  You brighten up our lives so much!

March 20, 2012 : Baby Girl turns 5!

Here you are reading your new book you got for your birthday and wearing your Ariel crown- oh how you love princesses. Hopefully soon we can show everybody your beautiful face :)

Our children's birthdays are all right here in a row w/ Mimi's coming up in a couple weeks too! This post is about our favorite now five year old. So wierd to say I have a five year old!!!

Oh, Baby Girl! Or Butterfly, or Begee (BG) as Daddy sometimes calls you :) But you don't really call us Mommy and Daddy any more- just Mom and Dad. So grown up!

Here are some funny things you have done lately:

• It's sometimes hard for you to parrot back a new word to us- like one that you haven't heard before. So the other night when we first had tahini on some chicken you asked what it was. I said, "tahini." Then you said something that sounded similar. We worked on it for a while. Then you looked at us and said, "I'm just gonna call it 'Obama-hini'" (It was also in Feb, which is black history month and lessons about black leaders were given at school :) Then you said, "Obama Rocks!" and did a little dance. Hilarious!
• You love to learn and sing new songs about Jesus! Which we love. The other day you went to the grocery store with me and you sang "Oh, how I love Jesus" to the WHOLE store. Many times. Then we had to go potty and since you are a big girl and can go all by yourself, I waited outside the door. Things were taking a while and finally I heard you say, "Help me Jesus, Help me!"....pause...."Thanks you Jesus! Thank you Jesus! Yes!". I think he helped you go potty that day :) Your momma lost it just outside the bathroom door!
• You LOVE to ask questions! Sometimes you like to ask a question and answer it yourself. Like, "Mom, what's for dinner? Oh, yes, chicken and biscuits, and vegetables". I have little to do with those conversations :) But you also like to indirectly ask questions when you have been asking a lot already. Like the following scenario, "We're not having dessert tonight." Pause, with a longing look towards Mom or Dad....and when we silently agree or don't respond (because half the time we haven't thought ahead to the next 4 minutes- we are surviving in the moment that is dinnertime craziness), you continue..."dessert after dinner tonight, that's just too wierd"....finally we figure out if we are having dessert or not, but the journey is humorous! I guess you figure if you just talk a bout it for a while, then someone will eventually tell you what we have decided :)

Here you are at the Atlanta Children's Museum playing princess with your daddy. Did I mention you love princess anything? :) I love how this picture shows what a little peanut you are. Sometimes I forget just how little you are, sweet girl because you tower over your brother and sister!

You don't like being surprised...especially by animals :) For your birthday, we went to R. Thomas and a bird visited our table and sat on your mom's head- you were worried it would fly too close to you so the nice man took the bird away. We also went to the zoo at the beginning of February. You had never been before and you LOVED it. However, you did not like the parakeet exhibit because they all flew around and it whooshed by your head! You say you only like the neighbors' chickens "just a tinny, tinny bit", as you say because one time one escaped and tried to make a nest in Mia's hair- who didn't mind too much (Are we maybe just not into birds?).

You are getting so much better with your language! Just a few month's ago, you were talking about when you turn 5. We were working on the concept of big and small. You said that your pant's didn't fit and that when you turned 5 maybe they will be too big and then you can give them to Mia! Now, you know what big and small mean.

You are getting so much better with your speech, too. Some things we don't want you to change, but know you need to because you are 5 now: like babemsoup (for bathing suit) and "a puzzle to" (for supposed to). You can say so many more words and are understanding more since your surgery. You start speech therapy soon, so you will be up to snuff when you go to Kindergarten. Which you are very excited about! On your birthday, you told me that you were 5 so you expected to go to Kindergarten maybe "tomorrow or the next day" :)

Here you are with Mims painting at the Museum. You are painting a wall mural just like Olivia does in one of your fav books.

Did I mention that you are SUPER HELPFUL!! There are some days when I don't think I can handle one more lost sippie cup of your little brothers and you always find it for us! You love setting the table, putting away the silverware, and helping me cook!

You pray almost every night that our family will "live happily ever after". We love your sweet spirit and how you have bonded so well with us. You stand up for what you believe in, and you believe that we are your momma and daddy. We are so blessed to have you Baby Girl!!

February 18, 2012: Bubba Turns Two!

Sweet little boy you are 2 years old today! How we have loved getting to know you. We so enjoy your singing and dancing and special "meep-meep" song you have with your mama. You are the entertainment at the dinner table most nights and you love your family. You especially love your Daddeee, as you call him. And he loves you!

You LOVE to jump- most pictures of you look like this! You can get a few inches of air, jumping with both feet :)

Since your surgery in January, you can hear so much better and you hear the trains now outside our house. Every morning when you wake up you ask us to do "Chuga-chuga-chuga-chuga-choo-choo". You can say some two word sentences and are learning to talk more and more.

Yes, you are wearing one of your sister's mary jane shoes! along with your favorite monkey pajamas. Here you are talking on your "lello" (hello, is what you call your phone) that Mamaw and Papaw gave you.

Your favorite things are "beeyos" (videos) and to "bay" (play) outside. You love getting on to people and telling your sisters "no, no! followed by a long string of words we can't yet understand". You are a friendly boy who loves to show off and sing for people. At your school Christmas special, you stood out in front of your toddler class and held out "Peeeeeeeeaaaacce" (from sleep in heavenly peace) for the entire song of Silent Night. And then you waved at everyone in the audience.

You love, love, love to eat. You are a carnivorous little boy- your favorite food is chicken. You have also begun to eat raw greens like spinach and kale and you're expanding your little pallet.

Happy Birthday Sweet Boy!

Our Family Christmas Card

Well this year was eventful to say the least! Greetings to all who received our Christmas card or are just stopping by for an update.

This year (like in past years here, here, here, here, and here) we decided to give you the scoop on each other, but we also let the kids fill you in on what they thought you should know. We asked them each what they wanted people to know about their past year:

Baby Girl (4 1/2)
"I love Bubba and Mimi and I am excited about Christmas." She also says she misses the white house (see move details below:) but she likes the "hope street house". "I also like cupcakes, dancing, ornaments, and presents under the tree, and counting" (she could not count or know to start with "1" when she first came)...we love and are proud of her sweet counting too :).

Mimi (2 1/2)
Eryn: "Do you want to talk about what you have liked this year?"
Mimi: "Ummm..... Yeah!" Then she waddles/runs into the living room and says the following things she likes. "Dance"- we dance alot after dinner time in the living room. Occasionally we will also partake of a ring-a-round-the-rosey and then all fall down, otherwise referred to as "ring roun". She also mentions "kikecream" (ice cream), "pee party" (having tea parties with mommy and baby girl in which she usually spills more of her thimble size tea cup than drinks it).
Then I thought she was done; however, she came back in for a second round.
Mimi: "Eat, eat".
Eryn: "Oh, yes I know you like to eat eat a lot! I will let them know".
Mimi: "And Daddy, Mommy, Bubb Bubbee, Awisha (baby girl)....bye bye Mommy"
Still not done, she came back in about 40 more times of making sure I knew she liked to "eat eat" :)

Bubee
Eryn: "Bubba, what did you like about this year?"
Bubee: "Ehh, ehh (which means yes and no, probably no in this case), and then he said "bideo peeese" (translation: video please because I see you are near the TV :). That boy loves his Baby Einstein videos!

Eryn (written by David)
Eryn has had a great year. She has continued to counsel clients and her practice has grown (at least up until the time we got the kids). She is a great mom- Eryn is very patient and loving, but also firm when she needs to be. She is really able to get to the root of what is going on with the children. Here is an example of a conversation we might have: "Well David, Baby Girl is probably feeling sad that she cannot be with her mom (bio-mother), happy that she is with us, mad that she cannot control her situation, worried because she doesn't know what will happen next, responsible for her brother and sister, apprehensive about her life in general, and worried that we will not be pleased with her." To which I reply, "Hmm, I just thought she was being ornery"! The kids are all pretty good eaters, mostly thanks to Eryn's creative and healthy cooking. She is very ambitious and brave (as far as I'm concerned) when it comes to taking on tasks with the three little ones. Example: "David, I think I'm going to take all three of the kids to a birthday party an hour away at which they can eat nothing because of their allergies and which would fall squarely during their nap time." That's the kind of thing she does regularly because it's good for the kids, but for which I would rather go grocery shopping than undertake (that's saying a lot for me!).

David (written by Eryn)
After 6 Christmases, I am still so happy to be married to this guy! David is a wonderful, loving, firm, playful father and the kids really love him. It has been kind of a bummer, but lately Bubee has been saying, "Dadddeeeee" more- which means he wants the ole Dad more than Mom sometimes. Maybe it's because he knows that Dad will wrestle with him and Mom is quite frankly just not very good at it :) David is very creative with his parenting and it has really benefited all of them, especially Baby Girl. She didn't seem to have a concept of what a father figure was at first so David began playing Ariel/ the Little Mermaid with her where he would be King Triton and she would be Ariel. She really responded well to that and began to work out the role of a "dad" through her play with him. She adores him!
David continues to excel in school and he will start adjusting folks in the student clinic really soon. I'm excited to have my own personal chiropractor :)

On Everything Else
The kids are doing great. We are so proud of the improvements they have made over the past couple of months. Although most of those improvements are to the Lord's credit and not ours, we are very proud of them. Baby Girl (4) has both grown up and grown "down" so much since we first got her. She has grown up in that she is more settled, more helpful, has learned a years worth of information in the last two months, and can regulate her emotions better. She is flying through the phases that she missed in her earlier years. She is growing down in that she is less "hard" and visibly feels less responsible for her brother and sister. Mimi has perhaps changed the most, which is saying a lot. She is a much happier little girl and although she has her two year old moments, she is very pleasant to be around. We would now classify her as "well-adjusted" little girl who instead of throwing a fit and pulling out her hair will give a typical two-year-old response of "Duhdee, I'ont want too" :) Bubee is perhaps the happiest kid that we have encountered. He seems to weather things well. He is active and loves (LOVES) to sing! He is much more active (and interactive) since we took him a couple of times to a great Pediatric Chiropractor who helped him with a neck issue. (Had to throw in a plug for the chiropractic profession :) He has learned the word "Mommeeee" and "Dadeeeee" and will say it 100 times as long as we respond with some form of "Yes". Sometimes it's a game we play to see how long he will say it.

Everything else is also going well. Not only did we take in three kids in September, we also moved a couple weeks later in October. Many thanks to Eryn's family for helping out with the massive undertaking of moving with three kids. The kids also loved the garden at "the white house" (old house) which we did again this year (like last) for which I will spare you the numbers, but our crop produced more yield than last. We were sad to leave that behind at our new house. We hope to start one here in our new home this Spring. We love our neighborhood and the kids have other children around to play with. We have had a rough year, but in a good way. The transition from zero to three children has been tough to say the least, but we have not regretted a single minute of having these babies in our home. We cannot imagine ever loving any children more than we love them, nor did we know we were capable of loving little people who we hardly know this much. We are getting to know them better and know more of what they need each day and God has given us a ton of grace through the whole year from before we had them to now as we are parenting.

Hope you all are well and have a wonderful Christmas season!
Love, David, Eryn, Baby Girl, Mimi, and Bubee

If you want updates on our adoption/ foster care timeline or other stories here are some more links to other blog posts:
Why we chose to adopt through the foster system
Our Adoption Decision Journey
The first Two Months
Funny Things about the Kids