Recent Happenings

Our Family.  We really do feel more like a family every day around here.  Less like us and them. 

Some of our latest happenings include David starting up a small group at church of foster families to support and encourage one another, Mimi being FULLY potty trained!, Baby Girl starting to speak with a slight lisp because she is aware (from talking to other five year olds) that she cannot say her s's like everyone else.  These among many other things.

Also I had surgery to remove my appendix and right ovary.  And the kids are having to live with not sitting in momma's lap and letting me hold them!  It's really hard for me because I can see them pulling away a bit, not sure if I am still the same toward them.  So we will be around Mimomo's and Nana's and Mamaw's and Aunts over the next couple of weeks so they can get some proper female lovin' :)  I love my kids!

Also, I want to show so many pictures right now, but alas, I must wait until the children are fully ours before doing so.  And on that front, we have a court date in late July for a two-day hearing.  Then a judge will decide if the kids get to go back with their biological parents or stay with us.  This is the major thing happening and not happening in our home right now.  It both consumes our thoughts at times, and yet, feels very far into the future.

We are trusting in Him who works all things together for the good of those who love Him.

Please be praying July 25 and July 26 for our family!

On a somewhat lighter note, here are some sweet things the kids are doing and things I'm discovering about them:

• Bubs will usually wake up and scream "Mama!  Mama weah AYE oooo?" in sing-song.  It means "Mama where are youuuuuu?"  It's super cute, but it also sounds just like his "aye AYE ooo" (which means "I love you").  So I pretend he is waking up and the first thing he says is ""Mama, I love you!".  It's hard for me to not let that little rascal become a total mama's boy.  We have definitely bonded, which leaves me feeling bittersweet at times.  I love that I have been able to attach to him- just before the necessary independence stage needs to take place and he no longer wishes to cuddle cheek to cheek each time he awakes from his nap.  However, I realize (through my relationship with him) how much I have missed out at bonding in that special way with the girls.
• I wish so badly that I could show you the video of Bubs reading himself Brown Bear, Brown Bear.  If you are familiar with the book, there is a part where the teacher, teacher sees the children.  Whenever Bubs gets to that part he points to the corresponding pictures with each of his family members.  For the most part they make sense.  Mim's is the darker girl with curly black hair, Baby Girl has dark features but straight hair.  "Buba", as he calls himself, is a pretty close look-alike for him, and I am the wierd looking sideways blond haired girl in the orange shirt.  But for David he picks a latino looking dude who happens to be sitting right beside the "me" in the book.  I think he will go for the blonde haired blue eyed one on the first row, but every time- it's Latino David.  I wonder if that's how he really sees his Daddy, David.  It cracks us up!
• Baby Girl's love language is "special time".  The other day I took her out for lunch, which happened to be at an outdoor mall, The Avenues.  As I have been posting, I have had realizations lately that I have some excessive tendencies that I usually justify some way or another.  So I thought this time after lunch would be great to give her an education on how the world of consumerism really works.  So we went window shopping, which turned into real shopping, which turned into both of us trying on clothes and me buying some cheap pants and a shirt!  Whatareyagonnado?  Needless to say, she loved the day, and I don't think my anti-consumerism lesson sunk in :)
• Mimi has started calling her little brother "The Bubs".  I guess she has heard us call him that from time to time.  She will say, "Mama, The Bubs is asleep," or "Where is The Bubs?"  At least she has stopped calling him a her :)
• "The Bubs" has also started talking so much more.  Now when I come in a room he says, "Heya Mama.  How u doooen?"...almost Joey from Friends esque ;)
• Mims is doing so well going to the potty.  She has really grown up a ton since mastering that skill.  When she is well fed (and well napped) she has become such a prim and proper little girl, giving slight nods of the head when she does something she is pleased with.  She is our Mimi and we love her!
• Baby Girl is really excited to start kindergarten.  She has taken on a lot of my high maintenance-ness with food, though.  When her Mimomo came to help out when I had my surgery, she had to have a certain kind of tea as well as a drink with her breakfast.  In her defense, I usually have two or three drink like things at breakfast too.  She tells me sometimes, "Mommy, it's OK for you to have tea and kefir and water at breakfast because you're the adult right?"  And I look down at my highfaluting  breakfast and say, "Yes, that's right" :)

Our Family's First Shabbat

Shabbat Shalom!

We decided to have an impromptu Sabbath dinner tonight.  I did a quick internet search and found some of the rituals from a Messianic Jewish site.  It was neat to kick off our first family Sabbath day.  (I'm not too sure how the whole no house work thing will go with three small kids, but I'm hoping we can do it!)

The spread with gluten-free Challah and everything!

We aren't gonna be too legalistic with it, but we are going to try and take a day of rest.  But I think my most favorite part about enjoying the Sabbath is the kick-off meal!

Baby Girl helped me with the challah, and the pie.  That little girl loves to help me out in the kitchen.  And she cleans up well too!  She even washed the table and vacuumed some of the kitchen floor.  It was her first experience removing the kitchen rugs her mama never removes when cleaning the kitchen floor.  She lifted one up and hundreds of crumbs got all over her clean floor!  Sorry, BG- your mama's a slacker!  I did help her clean it up :)

Mims and Bubs also helped David out washing the floor.  Then David and I shared in the rest of meal prep and setting of the table.

The neatest part of the Sabbath rituals for me was blessing the children.  They thought it was great, and Mims had this serene look on her face as if to say "Yes, Dad.  Great call on blessing me with joy and victory.  I see the wisdom in that."  Sweet girl!

We sang the creation song and David told the story of the Israelites' exodus from Egypt.

It was so great to have everything right there and no getting up 20 times during a meal!  Parents of small kids can I get an "Amen"!  The only thing I will change next week is to not have the dessert right next to Bubs.  He asked about 100 times if he could have "bu-nana eye cream" and almost put his nasty fork in it sever times!

Our dessert- get recipe here :)

The Excess

So as I mentioned in this post, we have decided on some things that we can permanently (or semi-permanently) go without to balance out our lives and live more simply.

I loved the line in 7, where Jen Hatmaker says that there is "liberation that only exists at the bottom, where I have nothing to defend, nothing to protect."

We spend our days trying to protect our evening TV/ fun time together; we put forth a good deal of effort trying to protect our prized possessions from damage, wear and tear, and even destruction by little hands; we spend our emotional and mental energy trying to protect our images or the ways that others may or may not perceive us.  I guess this is where the Jones family is headed.  Trying to get to a place where we are free-er, living more simply, and having less to defend and protect so that our energies (and money!) may be spent more on Kingdom activities and things that are near and dear to the heart of our Creator.

So here's the list:

1. Remove: super-long get-ready times (limited to special occasions like our first date in 9 months!). Only 5-10 minutes per day (this really applies only to me- Eryn).  So far I have been following this for several days now and no one really notices that my hair is not fixed.  Wierd that everyone is not sitting around and critiquing my hair style :)  Actually, I have found that I have wavy "hippie hair" as my husband says and I'm kind of diggin the no-hair-dryer look!
2. Remove: all media except necessary internet from our lives.  Last night David sent the TV on an all expense paid vacation to the basement.  He's down there with all the DVDs and our recently broken DVD player (think the Lord was trying to tell us something :).  The look on the kids face was shock then anxiety as they realized what was missing from our living room yesterday morning.  Then they all immediately flocked toward our tiny Acer computer as if to say "well we at least have an 11" screen with which to watch random British cartoons on HULU with!" (as we don't have Netflix, etc.).  This will be a trial of a week and then we will see how we want to go from there.  But for now, a large Family Portrait sits where TV used to, and I love it!

   

   what has replaced the TV and DVD player
   

3. Remove: really long, ridiculously high maintenance foodie grocery lists!  Since I currently have ___________ items in my pantry/ freezers/ refrigerator/ etc, we decided to start a 30 item a week grocery list.  That's only 30 items a week!  I thought I couldn't do it, but it's week two and I have successfully fed our family of 5 on 30 simple whole food items,  Now, I actually plan out what we eat instead of wanting to have a small grocery store at hand in case I just want to make whatever.  I find that I plan more simple meals, and in turn have more time to spend with my family.  And I spend much less each week on food.  And yet we still eat and are full- who knew!  (this area was inspired by our only eat 7 things for 10 days which we did a couple weeks ago)
4. Remove: excess spending.  I'm going to try the wait 30 days and see if you still want/ need it rule for things I see at stores while out picking up things we actually do need, like diapers.  Just today @ Target I went in for a baby shower present and floss and saw several other things I "needed" while I was there.  No, I don't need that cute new dress for the beach.  And no, we don't need 4 different kinds of sunscreen depending on the wetness level of our kids for goodness sake!  But when you're there, those tricksy Target genies know how to play with your mind and make you think you really have to have some of those things or your life will somehow be less than.  And we are rebelling against that.  So today, I went in for 2 things and only came out with 3 (I forgot I really did need diapers for BeekBock :).  And our recently broken DVD player (wanted to run right out and spend 50+ on a new HD one right away because I was in a panic!)- not being missed much right now.

So that's about it.  Just these four main areas.  Maybe we'll add more, maybe we'll adjust them.  But right now we are loving having less to weigh us down!  And, yes, this means we are getting weirder :)

The Famine and the Feast

This little un-named member of our family sure does know how to Feast!

But I"m not really talking about feasting or fasting on food.  Although that is part of it, but I'm talking about a mentality, or paradigm if you will.  Let me explain:

I just finished chapter six, on Spending, of Jen Hatmaker's book, 7.  And I realized I am a chronic comparer-er (a word?).  They say "the devil is in the details".  This is true.  I compare my details with other folk's details and then I'm so consumed with what I don't do (or have) that I feel just fine and dandy about myself.

• I don't live in a very big house.
• I don't have cable.
• I don't go shopping in the mall.
• I don't eat out very much.
• I don't let my kids play with electronics.
• I don't let my kids watch a lot of TV.
• I don't like to watch very much TV.
• I don't shop at conventional/ big chain conglomerate stores very much, opting for the local or small business.
• and so on and so on...

Does anyone else feel that they spend a lot of time thinking of all the not so great stuff they don't do that their focus is shifted from the very large two by four in their own face?  Just me, then?!

So in an effort to recognize, and own up to my "plank", here is what I do do that I have been convicted of since reading 7:

• I spend an exorbitant amount of money each month on food- i.e. I currently have at least 20 different types of hot tea varieties from herbal to yerba mate, and I have at least 15 different types of grains on hand just in case I care to whip up anything I desire on a whim.
• I buy a lot of random stuff.  No, I don't go clothes shopping, but I will pick up that cheap platter while I'm at Hobby Lobby because it will make my life more colorful, or I pick up that new cosmetic from Walgreen's while I'm there for diapers because it will make me look better.
• I spend a lot of time getting ready.  Before I had kids I would spend 1 hr getting ready after a shower.  Now, since I have kids, my shower days are usually once or twice a week, but I still take that hour (spread out over several other hours due to not wanting the house to come crumbling down since Mommy was in the bathroom for an hour!).
• I'm a food snob.  I think about food constantly, and food is constantly around me, and the options are endless.  "Maybe tonight I can make a lemon jasmine tea cake with some coconut milk ice cream and then my evening will feel special!"  I think about creating food options for me and my family to the point that I will spend 2 1/2 hours preparing many a dinner!  That's great and all for a special occasion, but what a bunch of time ill spent on a family who would be just fine with hot dogs, chips, and broccoli salad!
• Our kids have a TON of stuff.  I have bought zero toys for our kids out of my own pocket since they came to live with us 8 months ago, yet we are swimming in their toys, dress up clothes, and knick knacks.  Somehow it never occurred to me to let them give stuff away and experience the joy of giving because they have been given much since coming out of poverty themselves.  What a shame it would be to not acknowledge their former poverty; it would also be a shame if I let them forget it and not connect them with the fact that just like they used to live, there are others out there hurting right now still.
• We have little restraint on where we spend our money.  This is something I was super humbled about by reading this chapter.  We don't really go into any debt; we somehow manage to come out on top, but we spend our money at so many different places without asking "do I really need this/ to do this/ to eat out, etc.".  I counted, and for the month of May (which we said we were not eating out during to save money- even though we fudged a couple of times) we spent money at 23 different merchants!  That's not counting groceries, gas, bill paying, rent, etc.  Just 23 random spending escapades that I did not think twice about- and that was during a month when we were cutting our spending!  I didn't even go back and look at April because if 23 is what I consider "fasting" from spending, then I did not want to be sad about how many more places we casually dropped money at when we were "feasting".

Which brings me to the most important lesson I learned, or my "take home" from month 6 of Hatmaker's 7 experiment:  I want to be a family that lives in the middle ground between the fasting and the feast!   Jen talks about how the early church fasted.  Christianity is "boring" without the fasting.  We (America) are a people of feasting.  I want this, "yes- get it! because you need it".  Unfortunately, we have united with our culture and are Christians who are only feasting!  Where is the balance?  Who goes without anymore if they don't have to?  Where is the connection to those who don't have a choice to go without and those who can meet their needs?  I'm not just talking to the Church here, I'm talking to Me!

Balancing the fasting and the feast.  The Divine tension.  That says what my hearts desire is for our family!

So....David and I had a "date night" in the playroom.  (Since our kids are still on "foster care status", we cannot let anyone who has not gone through an extensive background check through our agency [read: 30+ pages of paperwork, weeks of getting results back, and their left kidney] keep the kids, so we get creative with our in-home dates.)  As we were sitting at our card table with a purple queen sheet table cloth (fancy :), we talked about how our family can "fast" more.  Or eliminate excess in areas.  Give away.  Spend less time or money.  And we came up with some cool things!  And seeing as how this post is quite lengthy, I will post my "Jones family semi-permanent fasting from list" in my next post.

Thoughts on Food

So have you heard of 7.
Just the number, not spelled out.
The lady at Barnes and Noble said I could have found it faster if I hadn't told her to look for "Seven"- spelled out.
It's a book.  And it's by Jen Hatmaker.
And (like others that have in the past, such as Shaine Claiborne's Irresistible Revolution) it is rocking my world.
I identify with the author in that I need God to sometimes push me into action in a radical way.  As much as I value being middle-of-the-road, I need to act in extreme ways for change.  To change myself.

So, as most of you know (or don't ;), we recently "took in" three foster children (see an example of acting extreme:).  They did not eat well before they lived with us.  Maybe sometimes not at all.  For how long I don't know, but we do know their medical condition when they came into care.  So when they came to live with us, I introduced them to my foodie-loving-baking-craziness-high-maintenance-three-course-meal-lovin' style of eating!

Fast forward a few months, and the typical daily conversations in our home are about food:

• "Mom, what are we having for breakfast/lunch/dinner/snack/elevensies?"
• "I don't know, I will think of something.  Don't worry about it too much.  Maybe some tuna salad and some chips"
• "And what else?"
• "I don't know maybe and apple and some vegetable."
• "And what else?"
• "Well, we might have some dessert, too"
• "Ok, so tuna, chips, apples, maybe broccoli salad, and some cookies...........And what else?"

Noticing a pattern?!!  I have turned her into a miniature food-lovin' version of me!

So the other day, after a conversation about lunch that went something like the typical one above, I decided to "educate" my daughter on how food doesn't need to be taken for granted, shouldn't be the most exciting part of the day, there are starving kids in China.....blah, blah, blah.  Then I threw in a very relevant plug for Uncle Chris and Aunt Sarah who work with kids (in Kenya) who only eat the same thing every day and are super grateful because that is their only meal.  And as I thought I was teaching an important life lesson, my daughter (5) replied,

• "When we lived with ____ ____ (her birth mom), we ate the same thing every day."
• Me (thinking she was mistaken, but humoring her nonetheless): "Oh, yeah?  What was that?"
• "The spaghetti with the curly noodles and the meatballs that comes from a can."
• Me (now thinking, aw man, Chef Boyardee every day, and that's all???  Now not knowing what to say.)  "Well... were you happy to eat it?"
• "Yeah.  But that's all we had for a while."
• Insert my extreme humility here!!!  

She totally does not take food for granted.  She is just so excited to have it around and have lots of it!  Still- after several months of eating with us.

But eventually if we let things continue and allow food to have such an elevated place- even good, healthy food- she might become just like me.  Someone who has 500+ different kinds of food items in her pantry/ spice rack/ freezer/ and refrigerator.  (I even have an entire blog devoted to food and recipes!)  And yet, I am someone who does not think about her poorer neighbor often enough.

So David and I are going on a ten-day "7 fast".  Here is the menu:

There are many reasons why we decided to do this.  But mainly we want the Lord to move in us (mainly me, Eryn :) to not place such a high priority on things like Thai Coconut Ginger Soup with toasted homemade rice flatbread and made-from-scratch croissants for dessert!  Not that there is anything inherently wrong with all of those wonderful food items.  But they consume my day, my thoughts.  Without them, I'm hoping to make more room for more important things!

As I finish this post, it's day 2 of our 10 day fast and things are going well.  I'm not too hungry.  Although, that could be blamed on my intense allergies (seasonal variety) at the moment.

And my daughter says she wants to eat just seven foods too so she can think about those kids in Africa- sweet angel baby girl!!

I recently came across a group of bloggers doing a summer series that you can check out below: